Changing Mindset Series: Regrets

Regrets is something you really do not want to have at the end of your life so I recommend living it well and with kindness.

A close friend of mine is dying and when I caught up with him last month he was a man full of regrets. Some of which I understand and others I do not simply because I am not him.

He was raised in a violent household with his father regularly beating him close to the point of death and he had to watch his mother receive daily blows from his father. This boy was a talented intellectual who could literally turn his hand to anything and succeed. He escaped his past by joining the military and quickly saw a pathway but his nature to find acceptance turned him to drinking. Then drinking became a habit to drown the voices from the past away. He eventually married and had children but trauma is a fickle beast so he became his father. Here is where I do not under any circumstances sanction this behaviour and being a past victim myself of an abusive relationship I am strongly against any kind of abusive behaviour. That kind of behaviour comes in many forms not only physical but mental or emotional too. He left the military, started life in a small town and here began his pathway of regrets.

Out of the two of us he should of been the one with the success stories, he was the more intelligent person and he was the leader. I was always unsure about everything, followed people more than I led and hardly attended school. I found it boring and was more likely to be found playing sports or cross-country bike riding. I looked at him then and realised I hadn’t lived a life of regrets but I lived it as best I could at the time with kindness at the forefront of my decision making. Life provides you with crossroads that require you go left or right and my hope for you is that you choose well.

My dear friend has many regrets some of them include not being the kind of father or husband he wanted to be. Not having the life he thought he would have lived. Time doesn’t allow for him to make substantial changes other than to say sorry with actions and words to the people that mean the most to him. As I write this I think about any regrets I might have but honestly I can’t think of any. I was blessed to raise a wonderful daughter, met my amazing partner who changed my life and I found my place in this world professionally working with intelligent talented people. Regardless of the battles I faced physically, mentally or emotionally, I was able to continue my journey stronger than before. Each hurdle you cross helps you understand yourself better and have more empathy for others on that similar pathway. This should cause you to take action where needed particularly with others because it simply starts with the 1.

“Pay it forward”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s